Heaven Day #2: All in His plan

May is such a beautiful month. The birds are chirping, the flowers blooming, trees are sprouting, and little creatures are coming out to warm themselves in the sun. God’s beauty is on full display around us, and I am thankful for the reminder of his goodness.

Today is May 17th, the 2nd anniversary of Claire’s Heaven Day. It is hard to believe that the hardest day for Jordan and I was the best day for our daughter. Our day of loss was her day of gain because the moment she left us, Claire entered the presence of the Lord. She has nothing left to strive for, she has everything. I am trying to focus on that. Let her joy be my joy. As hard as I try to keep this in perspective, there are times when I still feel overwhelmed by the grief.

When I find myself in these places I just keep reminding myself that it is well with my soul. James 1:2-4 tell us to Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. I love the verb consider. It is a verb of deliberate action not a verb prompted by emotion or circumstance. I can feel the Lord prompting me to be in the dark moments, experience his glory through the pain, and do not flee or may miss the work He will do in my through this time.

A devotional I was reading through this month said the purpose of life is not to live in the absence of pain but in the presence of God. WOW! Sometimes God works through our pain to reveal his glory. If we get too focused on praying away the hurt we may miss the moment in which we can experience his majesty. Starting in Matthew 14:22 it speaks about a time when Jesus told his disciples to get into the boat and go ahead of him while he stayed back to pray. The boat was then rocked and beaten by the wind and waves. Jesus knew the weather was coming, but He told them to go ahead of him anyway. Why?  It gave an opportunity for Peter to step out in faith, it gave Jesus a chance to show his authority over this world, and it gave the disciples a chance to trust.

Some days I feel continually beaten by life like the disciples sitting in the boat buffeted by the waves.

Some days I feel bold and brave like Peter walking onto the water.

Some days I feel overcome and in fear of drowning as I cry out for Jesus to save me.

Then there are the glorious days, when wake up feeling calm, peaceful, and comforted as I sit in the presence of my Lord just as the disciples did as they sat in the boat with Jesus.

I do not know why we face these trials in life. I am not going to pretend I know how the Lord will work through them. But I pray that through it I get to experience his presence and see his glory in an undeniable way.

Sometimes I think Derek may be that undeniable way!

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